For many families, the arrival of summer is met with excitement and anticipation. a time for relaxation, vacations, and new adventures. However, for parents of neurodiverse children, the summer holidays can bring a sense of dread and anxiety. It’s not the idea of spending more time with their children that causes this feeling—far from it.
Us parents cherish the time we have with their precious loved ones. The challenge lies in the disruption of routine, which can cause significant distress for neurodiverse children and their families.
Neurodiverse children, including those with autism, ADHD, and other developmental disorders, often thrive on consistency and structure. The predictability of the school routine provides a sense of security and stability. When the summer holidays arrive, this routine is abruptly changed, leading to a host of challenges.
Many of my friends have said that during the summer holidays, their children experience a regression in skills and behaviours. Skills that were painstakingly acquired during the school year can deteriorate, causing frustration and emotional turmoil for both the child and the parents. This regression is not just a minor setback; it can be deeply unsettling, as we witness our child’s hard work and progress slipping away.
In an effort to bridge the gap and maintain some semblance of routine, we often take on the role of tutors. They try to continue the educational and therapeutic activities that their children are used to. However, this can create strain within the family. For neurodiverse children, school is a place for learning, while home is their sanctuary, a place for relaxation and comfort. When these two worlds collide, it can cause confusion and resistance. The merging of school and home life blurs the boundaries that children rely on to understand their environment. This can lead to emotional and physical symptoms such as anxiety, meltdowns, and even physical illness. Parents find themselves in the challenging position of trying to ease these symptoms while maintaining a stable environment for their children. Meanwhile, friends and family may be enjoying holidays, summer camps, and a plethora of activities. For us parents of neurodiverse children, these same activities can feel out of reach.
The idea of a family vacation or participation in a summer camp can be daunting, given the potential for disruptions and the lack of specialised support in many recreational programs. The struggle to get through each day without the support of the school system can be isolating. We may feel envious of others who can embrace the carefree spirit of summer without the added layer of stress. Yet, also feel a profound sense of duty to provide the best care and support for their neurodiverse children, even when it means sacrificing their own needs and desires.
Despite these challenges, there are strategies that can help us navigate the summer holidays more smoothly. Planning ahead is crucial. The introduction of timetables, whether visual or otherwise, has been a massive help for many families. Allocating specific times for activities, even if it’s just 10 or 20minute slots, allows children to understand that despite the change in routine, there is still a structure in place.
Using tools like first and then boards can also be beneficial. These tools help children understand the sequence of activities, which can reduce anxiety and improve cooperation.
For us parents, having a timetable can prevent the feeling of chaos and ensure that time is used productively. It provides a tangible way to reflect on the week’s activities and recognise the progress made, even if it feels chaotic in the moment. For me personally prior to the introduction of a timetable the holidays would end and id sit as many of us do feeling as though id failed on every level and blaming myself.
Social media can add another layer of stress, as parents see friends posting about their fantastic days out. This can invoke a fear of missing out (FOMO) and even worse fear of my child missing out on typical summer experiences. Scheduling outings and playdates into the timetable can make these activities more manageable and ensure that children have enriching experiences.
However, it’s essential to strike a balance. We need to ask themselves whether the activities are genuinely beneficial for their child or if they are driven by the desire to keep up with others.
Neurodiverse children have unique needs and challenges, and what works for one family may not work for another. Being kind to oneself and recognising that it’s okay to do things differently is crucial. Living in survival mode and struggling to make it through the day is not good for anyone. What’s needed here is a mindset change. Give yourself a break!
Ultimately, while the summer holidays may never be entirely stressfree for parents of neurodiverse children, finding a balance that respects the needs of both the child and the family is key. Celebrating small victories, embracing flexibility, and reaching out for support can make the journey a bit more manageable.
As summer approaches, let’s recognise the unique challenges that lay ahead. Every family deserves to find joy and relaxation in the summer months, no matter how different their journey may be.
Written by Sumayyah Raja https://www.khaleejtimes.com/lifestyle/health/autism-mum-creates-a-safe-space-for-neurodivergent-kids-in-the-uae